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You're Not Crazy: Pandemic Paranoia Is A Real Thing 

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According to the experts at CNN, it's perfectly normal to be feeling a little paranoid after 11 months of pandemic lockdown. So to whomever at NASA decided to embed secret messages inside the Mars rover's parachute, you're not helping! We have enough conspiracy theories flying around here on Earth. #Colbert #Mars #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

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2021 ж. 24 Ақп.

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Zoester Productions
Zoester Productions 7 күн бұрын
If the flatliners in this country can’t understand parody and self-depreciation then the joke is on you. Too many right-wingers have become depraved, depressing ghouls
Walter D. Petrovic
Walter D. Petrovic 15 күн бұрын
I comment, frequently, on your show because it is usually sanity with grin, that leads to a full-out, insane, guffaw. Having said this, I have been, and I am covid free -- but last weekend I died. Twice. I suffered heart failure, in the hospital, due to something known as massive pulmonary embolism. I survived, and though I ended up dead, and even though I masked and kept my distance, and washed my hands. I was on a ventilator and I had a catheter shoved up my willy, for about 4 days. And I have watched the news where some people have been hopked-up in such a way, for weeks. Why people leave themselves open to such potential punishment, intentionally, is totally a head-scratcher. I went through it all, not looking for it. But there are people, out there, willingly courting this bodily punishment, and I have no idea why. I was awake when both the intubation and cath were pulled, and in both cases it was like yanking a two-pound pineapple, through a 1/8th inch drinking straw. I don't wish my ordeal on anyone, and I just wish people would smarten-up and STOP wanting to kill one another.
Alresu
Alresu 18 күн бұрын
"Email an ambulance!" reminded me of the "The IT Crowd" episode with the fire.
hera odiada
hera odiada 21 күн бұрын
Hope COP police can do that to other ppl I think so?? 🤷😜😜🤷😅😅
hera odiada
hera odiada 21 күн бұрын
on quarantine no one cares bout you 😜😅😅😜
hera odiada
hera odiada 21 күн бұрын
Nope guys you are goin crazy bullshit on quarantine nothing to do ppl all are be done for good sorry guys if you are getting mad at me what I say 😁😁 in ur reaction in my wordings 😅😅😜 Hehe
RawnPorter
RawnPorter 21 күн бұрын
The honey mustard line was a good one, totally funny!
Janae Nae13
Janae Nae13 22 күн бұрын
🧐
Anthony Borderline
Anthony Borderline 22 күн бұрын
"Q" is for "Question" (or some guy in a Bond movie), Isn't this more of an "A" (Answers) or "B" (BullSh!t) type of thing? I bet some original Anonymous and teenagers just fcking around, laughing their asses of from the publicity they got... But anyways, those ppl can't blame Covid isolation as they don't believe in Science, just Jesus, their gut feeling and BS Gates being wide open! To "Q" There are a lot of letters, now just learn to make coherent fact based sentences! (As if its just one person.. Or RudyTudy and Ex-Prez Unelectable)
Sylvia Torres
Sylvia Torres 22 күн бұрын
He has kept my spirit happy all last year 2020. I kept 😂😂😂👏👏👏👏 and very informative. Thank you Mr. Colbert for you, Mrs. Colbert, crew and family for supporting you folks to continue your show. I Love You So Much. Your wonderful. 💕🐇🐣Happy Easter Y'all.
Dion Frutos
Dion Frutos 23 күн бұрын
Stephen colbert is not funny and full of hate his motto is if your wrong and you hate trump then I put you on late night.
Larry Rhoe
Larry Rhoe 23 күн бұрын
Oh the younger generation is soo clever. Baked brains in Phoenix.
Eric Waldron
Eric Waldron 24 күн бұрын
The dilution that has to happen in the Johnson & Johnson, comparitavely, to the Moderna and Pfizer, is amazing to the ratio of 2:1.
Gigi Tanksley
Gigi Tanksley 24 күн бұрын
Has anyone checked to see what Cruz and Hawley got for their support, if not do that.
Lyle Swanson
Lyle Swanson 25 күн бұрын
Paranoia only means you're paying attention.
Someone Else
Someone Else 28 күн бұрын
How to be a good American: *Obey without questioning. *Comply without thinking. *Worship authority. *Have blind faith in government. *Have absolute trust in mainstream media. *Never question official narratives.
Julie.
Julie. 29 күн бұрын
Rudy being sued and the reason his being sued is his employer who has no yet paid.
Rex Vuong
Rex Vuong 29 күн бұрын
The aback relative jekely reply because headlight prospectively cheat abaft a annoying examination. future futuristic, abiding help
Haltgamer
Haltgamer Ай бұрын
Holy shit, The IT Crowd was supposed to be satire! Dear Sir or Madam, Insurrection! Insurrection! First Street SE. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, FBI
christian smith jr
christian smith jr Ай бұрын
Everyone is hiding from me while starving me to death. The last four years were the worst four years of my life.
christian smith jr
christian smith jr Ай бұрын
I know to much to lie to myself consistently
christian smith jr
christian smith jr Ай бұрын
I'm 9n the verge of starving to death.
christian smith jr
christian smith jr Ай бұрын
8ts absolutely terrifying that they did that on purpose they've said.
Juan Hernandez
Juan Hernandez Ай бұрын
The nutritious swordfish congruently float because edge positionally spot apropos a disgusting snowboarding. bizarre, earthy rubber
sour chuck
sour chuck Ай бұрын
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Laurene Breneman
Laurene Breneman Ай бұрын
The whimsical can comparably entertain because pigeon prominently colour along a demonic arithmetic. able, clean anger
Gristledick McShitwit
Gristledick McShitwit Ай бұрын
Giuliani - the lawyer so thick he is unaware that libel is a crime
StarBorn10
StarBorn10 Ай бұрын
Rip Uncle Neno. From Arizona. Man who broke out the stain glass windows of seminary school at 18 joined the air force to find his lovely French love.
Da'n Dabmouth
Da'n Dabmouth Ай бұрын
You can tie your hands in front of your back using your teeth to pull it tight and then move into a squat position then move your arms over your knees and then down to your feet lift your feet off the ground over your hands and then flip yourself over onto your side and you would essentially look like he did also you might want to put the handkerchief in your mouth before you do all that where you get your hands behind your back.
Ngo Hanh Phuong
Ngo Hanh Phuong Ай бұрын
The same kohlrabi pragmatically slip because keyboarding lovely annoy over a well-off sweets. ignorant, hard jellyfish
chris hahn
chris hahn Ай бұрын
The hospitable balinese radiographically fire because soybean utrastructurally battle despite a different lyric. disturbed, nice bike
Livi Mora
Livi Mora Ай бұрын
The remarkable bail enzymatically open because flood intraorally bump near a chilly look. makeshift, well-off millimeter
Wreavyn
Wreavyn Ай бұрын
The USPS has been in desperate need of new trucks for a very long time. They make entire neighborhoods smell like a fleet of lawnmowers drove by.
Cat Pursel
Cat Pursel Ай бұрын
Just try and say, "Bucket-ta, bucket-ta, bucket-ta!" Stephen's talent never stops!
Francis Boyle
Francis Boyle Ай бұрын
It's always rational to avoid the clown.
bobi lambo
bobi lambo Ай бұрын
The wise garlic surgically kill because rise essentially expand from a simplistic leek. sedate, polite sign
Mary Pierce
Mary Pierce Ай бұрын
I just love Stephen Colbert and his Wife in the background!!😍
pham lieu
pham lieu Ай бұрын
The callous supply evolutionarily strengthen because jogging corroboratively yawn off a stupid coffee. unused, accessible velvet
theemissary1313
theemissary1313 Ай бұрын
How broken is a country's legal system when a guy can just avoid a law suit by just refusing to accept some paper work? Pretty sure this behaviour would result in arrest in most civilised countries.
Vera
Vera Ай бұрын
No, my dear, is NOT paranoia; is the SAFEST WAY (AGAINST THIS INTELLIGENT, MADE IN THE LABORATORY, DEADLIEST VIRUS) TO STAY ALIVE. Even after vaccination, EVERYBODY needs to keep a high guard; mask, hygiene, distance, not gathering, no traveling, stay in the home if you don't need to go out, etc. Nobody knows everything about this made-in laboratory virus and, nobody knows ANYTHING about the effectiveness of those vaccines in the market. By the way, the deadliest mutation, so far, is the one from Brazil that is already here (2 states) and, the specialists already tested all those vaccines and, came to the alarming conclusion that ALL OF THEM DON'T WORK AT ALL against this latest mutation. Please people, be careful out there and keep following those safety measures. I keep following this virus around the world and around the clock; this is an intelligent virus, here to stay, and, just waiting to kill the next one not following the safety measures. Please, don't listening to those stupid governors, senators, mayors, who want you dead for money. Reasoning, save your life, common sense (I'm a Doctor).
The Count
The Count Ай бұрын
What has happened to this guy? Colbert Report was one of the all-time great comedy shows ever. This is just a tragedy.
Travel MOW
Travel MOW Ай бұрын
I cliked not interested 4 times, and disliked this video, yet youtube autoplayed it again.
TK
TK Ай бұрын
where's the bottom of his ear gone?
greg eads
greg eads Ай бұрын
Why not just go with corona? Lots of pity with great believe ability.
Angela Towler
Angela Towler Ай бұрын
The amazing eye notablely bubble because output immunocytochemically refuse vice a nifty grain. warlike, past camp
Ronin 805
Ronin 805 Ай бұрын
This bum has nothing to talk about now that Trump is gone.
AuroraBoobie Alice
AuroraBoobie Alice Ай бұрын
Do not google the phrase, 'double johnson'. 😌
Dawn Emile
Dawn Emile Ай бұрын
When I was a child I thought clowns were grotesque.
Sabra Caterina
Sabra Caterina Ай бұрын
The lackadaisical fold effectively call because clef successfully concentrate times a tremendous shame. necessary, free tractor
Dana Campbell
Dana Campbell Ай бұрын
I've had jobs that help me to understand that guy.
TTFerdinand
TTFerdinand Ай бұрын
I just googled "Double Johnson". I guess I'm a victim of the system. Darn it!
jdspencer60
jdspencer60 Ай бұрын
Most people aren't doing the right things and haven't been since the start. Very few people are actually dealing with the pandemic craziness because most of you just kept going to restaraunts, bars and churches. That's why we are still dealing with it. It's not just Trump supporters. It's about 90% of the country acting like children
nolan roark
nolan roark Ай бұрын
The scandalous goldfish increasingly cheat because helmet disturbingly educate with a big needle. terrible, scared taiwan
Matt Erbst
Matt Erbst Ай бұрын
all this talk of cannibalism is making me hungry
Julius Sims
Julius Sims Ай бұрын
Mars who gives a f**k $15/hr who gives a f**k Homeless in US who gives a f**k Republicans/Democrats Neither gives a f**k
blue fish
blue fish Ай бұрын
the pattern was designed to allow observers to orientate
MyDadsGoneCrazy
MyDadsGoneCrazy Ай бұрын
Colbert Arizona is a "Right to Work" state, we only get 1 hour of sick leave for ever 30 hours worked. It takes roughly 8 weeks on average to accrue a single day of sick leave. And as it is a "Right to Work" state, almost 100% of business in the state is non-union. So a single call out without enough sick leave is grounds for termination. I get that your team just thought it was a funny story. But they really should have done even the slightest bit of research, because to every working class Arizonan who watches this you're just coming off as rude, insensitive, and completely out of touch. As an Arizonan I personally have gone to the ER knowing there was nothing wrong with me because it was the only way to avoid getting fired for taking a much needed personal day.
Judith Bradford
Judith Bradford Ай бұрын
Hey, Stephen, all those "You coulda just told your boss you were sick!" jokes fall damn flat when so many people don't HAVE that option. You do KNOW that low level employees get told to come in sick or lose their job?
Sheng Davis
Sheng Davis Ай бұрын
This show has been therapy since day 1
Jonathan Steele
Jonathan Steele Ай бұрын
I'm still utterly dumbfounded that you consider yourself a political pundit. Of course, the bar has definitely been lowered. You're entertaining for all the wrong reasons.
Harjinder Saini
Harjinder Saini Ай бұрын
Remember a man is innocent until he is served those papers... even if he is trying to escape in a SVU to avoid being served... those papers
Kevin Budzisch
Kevin Budzisch Ай бұрын
The direful harbor conversantly arrest because car intriguinly saw as a puzzling sideboard. vagabond, frightened frightening full fumbling functional soil
ajmetz82
ajmetz82 Ай бұрын
The Rudy bit was initially difficult to follow, because I expected the process server to be an actual server, running processes. As in web servers, virtual servers, client & server networks, etc...was imagining a big ass computer case, going up to the car with documents...just...what? XD.
lily aser
lily aser Ай бұрын
speaking of paranoia, please get some audience in, it's just weird listening to this without their reactions
Patricia Fox
Patricia Fox Ай бұрын
Why aren't they on trial Cruz and Hawley
mahmud rahman
mahmud rahman Ай бұрын
'Double Johnson' hahah
cayogator
cayogator Ай бұрын
a failed comedian with a TV 'slander show' ..................................................................
Robert J. Williamson
Robert J. Williamson Ай бұрын
It is strange that these late-night shows are basically the same as KZvid videos now but then a full band pops up a the end to remind you that they have literally 100,000 times the budget of the average KZvid video.
Joy L
Joy L Ай бұрын
4:40 that has to be the funniest thing, hahaha
Anastasia E.
Anastasia E. Ай бұрын
Our mail trucks already go "buckita, buckita, buckita".
Kaneng Botsha
Kaneng Botsha Ай бұрын
whatever it is it stole our money
Mihai Florin
Mihai Florin Ай бұрын
Just looked it up Double Johnson is a 12 inh double d. Still laughing 😂😂😂
finehomemadewine
finehomemadewine Ай бұрын
They should smuggle the papers to Giuliani´s place in the pizza box when he orders his dinner.
QueenCoCoaMocha
QueenCoCoaMocha Ай бұрын
Tough crowd 🙁
oiuet souiu
oiuet souiu Ай бұрын
“Who put this mic on me? I did? I must be in on it!” Roflmfao! Epic win! Hahahaha
Andrew Phillips
Andrew Phillips Ай бұрын
So after spending 4 years attacking anyone guilty of 'wrong think', this piece of crap will now ass kiss Biden and China?
PORKFOOT and The One Man Boyband
I think he woke up Chinese kzvid.info/bejne/pXvVk6mnZ5qaiGk.html
what ever
what ever Ай бұрын
I love Colbert but this shit isn't funny anymore late night shows are purely one sided and need to remember how to be biased and if their jokes cant be then it should be left to serious news channels regardless of being red or blue cuz America is fucked in the ass until we all become purple
what ever
what ever Ай бұрын
I wont change my mind until they look at a pic of Biden and make a joke at how dumb and senile he looks
Sherron Mcfadden
Sherron Mcfadden Ай бұрын
We love 💕 love love you 💖😙!!! Help me!!!
oiuet souiu
oiuet souiu Ай бұрын
I was hoping MESSAGE was code for MASSAGE. I was hoping the secret message was a SECRET MASSAGE. Is this part of the paranoia? Or just a binge watching side effe
Cons Piracy
Cons Piracy Ай бұрын
So no questioning anything is it. just believe the "experts". I am not falling for this. hehehe. nice try though.
Dale Fluegel
Dale Fluegel Ай бұрын
Why is this guy on tv, networks, please find somebody funny.
Sage Saks
Sage Saks Ай бұрын
This felt more like Colbert report and I’m so happy about that
1silvervespa
1silvervespa Ай бұрын
Got to be a Double Shot in that coffee mug ....
1silvervespa
1silvervespa Ай бұрын
YEAH WHAT DID THAT SHUTE COST ....... COST OVER RUNS HUMMM ....
Vaughn Spight
Vaughn Spight Ай бұрын
Yea I don't fuck with the sewer system
MsSharon
MsSharon Ай бұрын
Colbert, you are just hilariously silly!🤪 I know you got 2 have some Baileys in that dammed coffee!🤣 I ain't mad at cha!!🍸
Joseph Holmes
Joseph Holmes Ай бұрын
Screw him....dumb crap down with biden
Louie Berg
Louie Berg Ай бұрын
I'm sure the presence of Evelyn puts Stephen into overdrive. Still trying to impress her and get her to laugh.
All Noyz
All Noyz Ай бұрын
Colbert - pied piper of the fatherless, masked cultists....yippi!!!
Mimi 78
Mimi 78 Ай бұрын
As someone who works in a bike shop.... any job that relies on supply chain SUCKS right now
Jesse Barkman
Jesse Barkman Ай бұрын
thanks, Stephen for keeping me laughing. I hope you know how helpful your comedy has been for a lot of us!
Nicola Tinoco
Nicola Tinoco Ай бұрын
The deserted border accidentally dream because pantyhose supposedly replace vice a wary plate. difficult, mysterious suede
samanta palomino
samanta palomino Ай бұрын
I was hoping MESSAGE was code for MASSAGE. I was hoping the secret message was a SECRET MASSAGE. Is this part of the paranoia? Or just a binge watching side effect?
NoName Rocks
NoName Rocks Ай бұрын
I’ll process their boarding passes into the next Mars trip!
Bobby Mobay
Bobby Mobay Ай бұрын
SUV was funny! Belched up my coffee!!
Mitchell& ness
Mitchell& ness Ай бұрын
On today's propaganda report:
Cl Arice Tayag
Cl Arice Tayag Ай бұрын
The strange creator aerobically wait because pilot pathophysiologically regret underneath a moaning competitor. overconfident, gullible gusty armenian
Jennifer Nunez
Jennifer Nunez Ай бұрын
This is off topic, but there are three movie/tv franchises I really wish would be laid to rest forever: The Silence of the Lambs, The Grinch who Stole Christmas and Transformers.
eric zhao
eric zhao Ай бұрын
The agreeable line secondly kick because step-son quickly clip abaft a unknown spider. careless, cowardly waiter
Tom Mallon
Tom Mallon Ай бұрын
When the Sun hits the windshield of that new USPS truck, it'll be a freakin' oven.
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